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So pretty much my Live Journal has turned into the incredibly sweet things that Nick has told me. haha
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Self improvement is masturbation.
Now self destruction. ...
06 December 2009 @ 10:16 pm
Kayla
You keep telling me to watch all these things I don't even remember half of them
Nick
But I do
and most of them are movies
Which means I have excuses to see you
.....
if you want
haha
Kayla
if you need movies as a reason to see me then keep adding more to the list
Nick
no no, excuses
It's nice to have excuses to see you
I couldn't count the reasons
You keep telling me to watch all these things I don't even remember half of them
Nick
But I do
and most of them are movies
Which means I have excuses to see you
.....
if you want
haha
Kayla
if you need movies as a reason to see me then keep adding more to the list
Nick
no no, excuses
It's nice to have excuses to see you
I couldn't count the reasons
10 November 2009 @ 08:31 pm
Nick
Oh no. I like it when you rant at me.... or rather, I suppose I enjoy hearing about your life.
Kayla
Why? My life is not to exciting.
Nick
To you...
To me, you're marvelous and therefore your life is fascinating
Oh no. I like it when you rant at me.... or rather, I suppose I enjoy hearing about your life.
Kayla
Why? My life is not to exciting.
Nick
To you...
To me, you're marvelous and therefore your life is fascinating
09 November 2009 @ 04:10 pm
Psalm 137
1 By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept
when we remembered Zion.
2 There on the poplars
we hung our harps,
3 for there our captors asked us for songs,
our tormentors demanded songs of joy;
they said, "Sing us one of the songs of Zion!"
4 How can we sing the songs of the LORD
while in a foreign land?
5 If I forget you, O Jerusalem,
may my right hand forget its skill .
6 May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth
if I do not remember you,
if I do not consider Jerusalem
my highest joy.
7 Remember, O LORD, what the Edomites did
on the day Jerusalem fell.
"Tear it down," they cried,
"tear it down to its foundations!"
8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you
for what you have done to us-
9 he who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.
1 By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept
when we remembered Zion.
2 There on the poplars
we hung our harps,
3 for there our captors asked us for songs,
our tormentors demanded songs of joy;
they said, "Sing us one of the songs of Zion!"
4 How can we sing the songs of the LORD
while in a foreign land?
5 If I forget you, O Jerusalem,
may my right hand forget its skill .
6 May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth
if I do not remember you,
if I do not consider Jerusalem
my highest joy.
7 Remember, O LORD, what the Edomites did
on the day Jerusalem fell.
"Tear it down," they cried,
"tear it down to its foundations!"
8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you
for what you have done to us-
9 he who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.
09 November 2009 @ 04:00 pm
Be thou the tenth Muse, ten times more in worth
Than those old nine which rhymers invocate.
Than those old nine which rhymers invocate.
18 October 2009 @ 09:00 pm
My impact on the planet is so small it is immeasurable.
The amount of lives I have touched can be counted on one hand.
The love i've shared can fit into a very small box.
and for the majority of my life, I have comfortably gone by
resigning myself to mediocrity.
Inadequately living life to what I believed was the fullest.
People weave in and out of my life, some longer than others.
All of them expecting A star, but eventually are let down.
As what they find is an understudy to the person that they think I should be.
So I've settled on playing the part of background music in so many peoples lives.
simply the drone of the tuba, hardly recieving praise over the trill of the flute.
Very rarely am I main focus when there is so many other intricate melodies to tune in on.
I've spent so many years watching those around me blossom into something beautiful
while I continue to sit here, underneath all this dirt,
fully capable of becoming the beautiful flower I know I can be.
And yet I'm too afraid to sprout my roots
and leave this confined pocket of soil that I've grown so comfortable with.
I've been hiding behind my insecurities for so long, that all that I have grown to love
have slowly
slipped away.
simply because I'm to afraid to reach out and grab it.
And as I look back on my life so far,
i realized how much I have lost out of fear.
It's time for me to burst out of my shell and truly become all that I can be.
There is so much that I know I am capable of.
It's time for me to have a solo, for me to be the star of my own show.
For all that's in my head to become reality.
for the stars that I dream of to be within reach.
Because once I begin to grow,
No pot will be able to contain my magnificent branches that will reach out
and touch the world immensely.
The amount of lives I have touched can be counted on one hand.
The love i've shared can fit into a very small box.
and for the majority of my life, I have comfortably gone by
resigning myself to mediocrity.
Inadequately living life to what I believed was the fullest.
People weave in and out of my life, some longer than others.
All of them expecting A star, but eventually are let down.
As what they find is an understudy to the person that they think I should be.
So I've settled on playing the part of background music in so many peoples lives.
simply the drone of the tuba, hardly recieving praise over the trill of the flute.
Very rarely am I main focus when there is so many other intricate melodies to tune in on.
I've spent so many years watching those around me blossom into something beautiful
while I continue to sit here, underneath all this dirt,
fully capable of becoming the beautiful flower I know I can be.
And yet I'm too afraid to sprout my roots
and leave this confined pocket of soil that I've grown so comfortable with.
I've been hiding behind my insecurities for so long, that all that I have grown to love
have slowly
slipped away.
simply because I'm to afraid to reach out and grab it.
And as I look back on my life so far,
i realized how much I have lost out of fear.
It's time for me to burst out of my shell and truly become all that I can be.
There is so much that I know I am capable of.
It's time for me to have a solo, for me to be the star of my own show.
For all that's in my head to become reality.
for the stars that I dream of to be within reach.
Because once I begin to grow,
No pot will be able to contain my magnificent branches that will reach out
and touch the world immensely.
09 October 2009 @ 02:13 pm
A stranger has come
To share my room in the house not right in the head,
A girl mad as birds
Bolting the night of the door with her arm her plume.
Strait in the mazed bed
She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds
Yet she deludes with walking the nightmarish room,
At large as the dead,
Or rides the imagined oceans of the male wards.
She has come possessed
Who admits the delusive light through the bouncing wall,
Possessed by the skies
She sleeps in the narrow trough yet she walks the dust
Yet raves at her will
On the madhouse boards worn thin by my walking tears.
And taken by light in her arms at long and dear last
I may without fail
Suffer the first vision that set fire to the stars.
-Dylan Thomas
I, too, sing America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.
Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--
I, too, am America.
-Langston Hughes
To share my room in the house not right in the head,
A girl mad as birds
Bolting the night of the door with her arm her plume.
Strait in the mazed bed
She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds
Yet she deludes with walking the nightmarish room,
At large as the dead,
Or rides the imagined oceans of the male wards.
She has come possessed
Who admits the delusive light through the bouncing wall,
Possessed by the skies
She sleeps in the narrow trough yet she walks the dust
Yet raves at her will
On the madhouse boards worn thin by my walking tears.
And taken by light in her arms at long and dear last
I may without fail
Suffer the first vision that set fire to the stars.
-Dylan Thomas
I, too, sing America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.
Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--
I, too, am America.
-Langston Hughes
07 October 2009 @ 04:11 pm
So at the moment I'm sitting in my grandparents living room watching The Simpsons. My grandparents internet is unsecured and my mom and sister are getting on my grandmas case about it. Personally I could care less.
anyway,
When we arrived at the airport here, some random guy came up to me, "Where you at that concert in Milwaukee?"
and I just replied, "Yes."
Even though I've never been to Milwaukee in my life.
on the way here from the Albany airport there was a huge traffic jam. I was sitting in the back with my sister and my grandma. And watching my grandma try to use her cell phone is the most hilarious thing in the world.
She literally took ten minutes trying to call home.
She also keeps calling the futon a croûton.
And she keeps saying prostate cancer instead of leukemia.
she's so silly.
and thats about it.
It's really pretty here. the leaves turn more colors than just yellow.
goodnight.
anyway,
When we arrived at the airport here, some random guy came up to me, "Where you at that concert in Milwaukee?"
and I just replied, "Yes."
Even though I've never been to Milwaukee in my life.
on the way here from the Albany airport there was a huge traffic jam. I was sitting in the back with my sister and my grandma. And watching my grandma try to use her cell phone is the most hilarious thing in the world.
She literally took ten minutes trying to call home.
She also keeps calling the futon a croûton.
And she keeps saying prostate cancer instead of leukemia.
she's so silly.
and thats about it.
It's really pretty here. the leaves turn more colors than just yellow.
goodnight.
26 September 2009 @ 08:38 pm
"You have very low self asteem for being so valuable.
You're intelligent and kind and friendly.. No one could ever deny that."
You're intelligent and kind and friendly.. No one could ever deny that."
As ridiculous as silly as it may seem, those words are the highlight of my week. I think about them and I smile. Especially considering who's words they are...
But anyway. I have no Idea what I am going to write for my English persuasion speech, we're suppose to write about some sort of national/local issue. But I don't even know what mine will be about.
Screw you AP english. I hate you this year.
I've been spending hours studying for the AP gov test on Monday. and I've only briefly looked over my reading for AP psych.
ugh. I've been distracted. Georgie spent the night last night. We chilled. and watched family guy. and I sort of taught her how to play the clarinet and the oboe.
Kaleena said I looked cute yesterday, and that made me feel really good about myself.
Nick left his five pound bag of music in the band room and asked me to bring them to him on Sunday, but then today he texted me saying that he probably wouldn't be at church because he's feeling sick, so he asked for my address so he could come get his bag.
and thats been getting me extremely nervous, that Nick Booker would be coming to my house, even if it's only briefly. It's pretty stupid, but you know,
I don't care.
This week was overall pretty good. but let's make next week even better.
Saturday is homecoming, and I'm close to having 50 dollars for the MAC makeup I need to buy.
That's all for now.
14 June 2009 @ 09:41 pm
So, summer so far has been SUPER DUPER EXCITING.
not at all.
anyway. I'm going to start watching Lost from the beginning, because the few episodes I saw of it was, WTF??
I'm probably still going to think that. but whatever.
DENVER ON FRIDAY. It will be exciting.
HEROES season 3. SEPTEMBER 1st on DVD.
I reallly don't have anything to talk about I just felt like posting.
I keep having dreams of my teeth falling out.
kbye.
not at all.
anyway. I'm going to start watching Lost from the beginning, because the few episodes I saw of it was, WTF??
I'm probably still going to think that. but whatever.
DENVER ON FRIDAY. It will be exciting.
HEROES season 3. SEPTEMBER 1st on DVD.
I reallly don't have anything to talk about I just felt like posting.
I keep having dreams of my teeth falling out.
kbye.
Current Location: room.
Current Mood: 
calm
calm25 May 2009 @ 11:48 am
Gay.
Life. not really.
I'm bored though. I need some new thrills. I miss some things. I miss some people. But then again, I love the way life is turning out.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know. blah.. Going to Glow Golf today! Pretty rad.
kbye.
Life. not really.
I'm bored though. I need some new thrills. I miss some things. I miss some people. But then again, I love the way life is turning out.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know. blah.. Going to Glow Golf today! Pretty rad.
kbye.
Current Location: room
Current Mood: calm
calm22 April 2009 @ 09:51 am
It's hard to wait for something you know may never happen, but its even harder when you know its everything you want.
09 April 2009 @ 05:36 pm
17 March 2009 @ 01:59 pm
I'm quite bored and feel like writing so I am doing a writers block.
WELL, I got pinched quite a lot when I was little because my dad refused to let me wear green on St. Pattys day and would force me to wear Orange all the time because we're protestant. So I would be pinched and I would come home crying and my dad would tell me to suck it up. Eventually my mom told me I could wear green.
now a days I just tell people I don't belive in Ireland. It's not a real place. That's why I don't wear green.
It's true.
3 DAYS 'TILL PARIS.
Current Location: Moms work.
Current Music: David Bowie
13 March 2009 @ 08:22 pm
one week 'till Paris!
Well technically, I leave Friday the 19th at like 6 in the morning, and don't get to Paris 'till Saturday the 20th at 6 in the morning. we have a 6 hour layover in D.C. But yeah.
I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! Disneyland Paris, The Louvre, The Avenue des Champs-Elysees, The eiffel tower, arc de triomphe, Chateu de Versailles, Notre Dame, Ect ect.
WOOO!
I'm re-reading the Da Vinci Code before we go. Ha, I'm lame I know.
I'm going to make this week good. It better be a good ass week so I don't go to Paris with all this crap going on. Tuesday and Wednesday is CSAP so school only goes 'till 12. And their isn't any Reherseal for the musucal after so yeah. Woo! I CAN'T WAIT!!! YAEAAAAAAAAAAHAHERHEWHDBJN4ETGHFN
I'm trying to learn some French before I go too, I got a phrase book and this devise that you pick what you want to say and it says it out loud for you. I also have a friend who speaks pretty good French I've been learning crap from. My German teacher is also fluent in French. Ha.
Yeah.
I saw Love Actually for the first time last night. It was pretty amazing, I loved it.
Well technically, I leave Friday the 19th at like 6 in the morning, and don't get to Paris 'till Saturday the 20th at 6 in the morning. we have a 6 hour layover in D.C. But yeah.
I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! Disneyland Paris, The Louvre, The Avenue des Champs-Elysees, The eiffel tower, arc de triomphe, Chateu de Versailles, Notre Dame, Ect ect.
WOOO!
I'm re-reading the Da Vinci Code before we go. Ha, I'm lame I know.
I'm going to make this week good. It better be a good ass week so I don't go to Paris with all this crap going on. Tuesday and Wednesday is CSAP so school only goes 'till 12. And their isn't any Reherseal for the musucal after so yeah. Woo! I CAN'T WAIT!!! YAEAAAAAAAAAAHAHERHEWHDBJN4ETGHFN
I'm trying to learn some French before I go too, I got a phrase book and this devise that you pick what you want to say and it says it out loud for you. I also have a friend who speaks pretty good French I've been learning crap from. My German teacher is also fluent in French. Ha.
Yeah.
I saw Love Actually for the first time last night. It was pretty amazing, I loved it.
Current Location: wegrfvdcsaghj
Current Music: ethyjgfdswerhtjgfd
03 March 2009 @ 04:46 pm
So remember me freaking out in my last post.
Yeah.
OVER REACTION TO THE MAX, DOG.
True story.
I'm stupid.
anyways, I'm good now.
and I have nothing to share, so I'm going to go work on my English essay about Frankenstein and my History essay about the strategies used by the Allied powers in WWII.
bye!
Yeah.
OVER REACTION TO THE MAX, DOG.
True story.
I'm stupid.
anyways, I'm good now.
and I have nothing to share, so I'm going to go work on my English essay about Frankenstein and my History essay about the strategies used by the Allied powers in WWII.
bye!
Current Mood: nerdy
02 March 2009 @ 07:10 pm
I HATE BOYS.
they say Girls are hard to understand. HA! Yeah right.
At least girls don't lead you on for about 3 weeks then completely ignore you the next week.
What the fuck! GAH! i wish I could just let go of all this mess, but I can't. I can't get over it. I can't stop crying over this shit and it's not even like we were dating. But, you know, I kind of lost a friend too. and over what? I don't know. He just started ignoring me. I wish I knew why, I really do, so maybe I could fix it or something. But instead I have to go to school everyday hoping he'll talk to me again and then go home in tears.
I wouldn't be this upset if he hadn't been the sweetest guy like a week before.
he would tell me things that would make me extremely happy,
for instance he said something along these lines, " I would never want to see you cry, let alone make you cry."
he really said that.
Well, a bit to late for that isn't it? I go home crying every night because of you. Thank you.
I miss all those happy times we had together. And you know what,
I'm sorry if all I was in your life was a waste of time.
But you know, I could just be over reacting about this and it could be some completely different reason he isn't talking to me.
I talked to my guy friend Sammy about it
and all he says is just to move on. Which I defiantly cannot do.
On the bright side,
Paris in like 19 days
and then
Elton John Concert on the 4th of April.
were like in the fourth row too. I'm going to cry for certainly.
they say Girls are hard to understand. HA! Yeah right.
At least girls don't lead you on for about 3 weeks then completely ignore you the next week.
What the fuck! GAH! i wish I could just let go of all this mess, but I can't. I can't get over it. I can't stop crying over this shit and it's not even like we were dating. But, you know, I kind of lost a friend too. and over what? I don't know. He just started ignoring me. I wish I knew why, I really do, so maybe I could fix it or something. But instead I have to go to school everyday hoping he'll talk to me again and then go home in tears.
I wouldn't be this upset if he hadn't been the sweetest guy like a week before.
he would tell me things that would make me extremely happy,
for instance he said something along these lines, " I would never want to see you cry, let alone make you cry."
he really said that.
Well, a bit to late for that isn't it? I go home crying every night because of you. Thank you.
I miss all those happy times we had together. And you know what,
I'm sorry if all I was in your life was a waste of time.
But you know, I could just be over reacting about this and it could be some completely different reason he isn't talking to me.
I talked to my guy friend Sammy about it
and all he says is just to move on. Which I defiantly cannot do.
On the bright side,
Paris in like 19 days
and then
Elton John Concert on the 4th of April.
were like in the fourth row too. I'm going to cry for certainly.
Current Location: room. or maybe hell.
Current Mood: 
miserable
miserable20 February 2009 @ 09:48 pm
and just go with the season.
I want to watch the human version of peter pan, but my version likes to go skippy skippy so I cannot.
Maybe I'll watch the Disney version.
Or, F i n d i n g N ev e r l a n d .
So I guess I've always subconsciously known this, but it just hit me the other day, I really don't have many friends.
I talk to some people here and there, but mostly I only have a handful of people I actually consider "friends." I suppose I could consider a lot of the band my friends. No, the band is my family. I defiantly feel at home in the band room. Surrounded by all those people I feel at ease. Yeah. Okay. Now I feel better. I honestly don't think anybody reads my LJ. But that is fine by me, I mostly post here for my own benefit. I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night, spent the whole night working on that damned History day project. I'm not really tired though. I feel fine.
I think a certain someone should get on facebook and chat with me.
I cut my hair the other day. I really hate it. I really hate having short hair. But it was necessary, my hair was so damaged it wasn't growing at all. I haven't seen a buffalo in a while. I really like Buffalo. I used to have a stuffed buffalo named Arnold when I was younger.
Anyways, goodbye.
I want to watch the human version of peter pan, but my version likes to go skippy skippy so I cannot.
Maybe I'll watch the Disney version.
Or, F i n d i n g N ev e r l a n d .
So I guess I've always subconsciously known this, but it just hit me the other day, I really don't have many friends.
I talk to some people here and there, but mostly I only have a handful of people I actually consider "friends." I suppose I could consider a lot of the band my friends. No, the band is my family. I defiantly feel at home in the band room. Surrounded by all those people I feel at ease. Yeah. Okay. Now I feel better. I honestly don't think anybody reads my LJ. But that is fine by me, I mostly post here for my own benefit. I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night, spent the whole night working on that damned History day project. I'm not really tired though. I feel fine.
I think a certain someone should get on facebook and chat with me.
I cut my hair the other day. I really hate it. I really hate having short hair. But it was necessary, my hair was so damaged it wasn't growing at all. I haven't seen a buffalo in a while. I really like Buffalo. I used to have a stuffed buffalo named Arnold when I was younger.
Anyways, goodbye.
Current Mood: 
energetic
energeticCurrent Music: Andrea Bocelli
13 February 2009 @ 06:44 pm
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying..
I can't get Lucky by Jason Mraz/ Colbieyyeye caifhtwe ( I can't spell it) out of my head.
I keep listening to it. And, Boston by Augustania.
And I can't get a certain someone off my mind. -cough- we won't talk about that though. If your really interested, you can IM me about it. Anywho, right now I'm listening to Elton John because I love Elton John. Today in band we watched that old cartoon version of the hobbit that makes you piss yourself scared. We watched it because we're playing a song from the Lord of the Rings cartoon, and Mr. Meacham isn't nerdy enough to know the differance from The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. He didn't even know who Lord Voldemort is.
We had to put code names on our tapes/cds when he was picking chair possitions a while back, and mine was Lord Voldemort.
Meacham: Lord, Volday, vold-mort?
Kayla: Voldemort. Thats me.
Meacham: Thats clever, how did you come up with that?
Most of the class: It's from Harry Potter!
Meacham: Ooohhhh,
And then Georgie had "Conqueror of Gondor and Rohan" and he pronounced Gondor wrong. He's just a weirdo, that Mr. Meacham. Oh well. We still love him. He totally high fives people for "That's what she said" Jokes. He makes them too sometimes. I very much love band class. (for other reasons too :])
Lalalalalalala,
anyways, tomorrow is Valentines Day and I'm going to Georgie's house to eat Heart shaped French toast and cookies and candy and other stuff. We are wearing our PJsssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
hell yeah. Anyways, that's most of the important stuff. Not really, but I can't think of anything else I want to type. bye.
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying..
I can't get Lucky by Jason Mraz/ Colbieyyeye caifhtwe ( I can't spell it) out of my head.
I keep listening to it. And, Boston by Augustania.
And I can't get a certain someone off my mind. -cough- we won't talk about that though. If your really interested, you can IM me about it. Anywho, right now I'm listening to Elton John because I love Elton John. Today in band we watched that old cartoon version of the hobbit that makes you piss yourself scared. We watched it because we're playing a song from the Lord of the Rings cartoon, and Mr. Meacham isn't nerdy enough to know the differance from The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. He didn't even know who Lord Voldemort is.
We had to put code names on our tapes/cds when he was picking chair possitions a while back, and mine was Lord Voldemort.
Meacham: Lord, Volday, vold-mort?
Kayla: Voldemort. Thats me.
Meacham: Thats clever, how did you come up with that?
Most of the class: It's from Harry Potter!
Meacham: Ooohhhh,
And then Georgie had "Conqueror of Gondor and Rohan" and he pronounced Gondor wrong. He's just a weirdo, that Mr. Meacham. Oh well. We still love him. He totally high fives people for "That's what she said" Jokes. He makes them too sometimes. I very much love band class. (for other reasons too :])
Lalalalalalala,
anyways, tomorrow is Valentines Day and I'm going to Georgie's house to eat Heart shaped French toast and cookies and candy and other stuff. We are wearing our PJsssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
hell yeah. Anyways, that's most of the important stuff. Not really, but I can't think of anything else I want to type. bye.